Champions associate with positive, successful people who will encourage you to maximise your potential.

Losers mix with negative, mood hoovers who put you off your goal


I always love the answers I get when I ask this question:


Would you hug and hold a person you knew who had a severe case of the measles?


During my years as a coach, I have noticed that people who are scared of failure, who have struggled to achieve their goals and feel bad about themselves, try to pull those around them down to their own levels to make themselves feel better.

They mock, criticise, undermine and often judge others.  They are so forceful and convincing that people often listen to them and believe them.

I now want to ask you another question – how can you possibly learn from or be inspired by someone who puts you down or is out to destroy you?

Those on the receiving end of this kind of behaviour think they are the ones who have the problem, and in a way, they’re right.  They do have a problem – they just don’t know how good they are so they hang around with the wrong people and get nowhere!

I was recently coaching one of my clients and they asked this super question:

What do I do if Im a positive, optimistic person and want to grow, but my partner brings me down and tries to stop me from achieving my goals?  Do I leave them? Or do I try and get them to change?

I hear this kind of question a lot when I am coaching.  Here’s the answer I gave my client…

Don’t bother trying to get negative people to change.  That’s NOT your job.  Your job is to use what you’ve learned to better yourself and your life.  Be the role model, be successful, be inspiring, be happy – then maybe, and I mean MAYBE, they may want some of what you’re doing.

People only do to you what you allow them to do to you.  I’m going to say that again because it’s important….


If you don’t want to be dragged down, make a stand – it will probably be met with resistance because people will see their control slipping away, a change in the status quo and they wont like that one little bit.  So they’ll up the ante on their behaviour, but if you remain strong in no longer accepting shoddy treatment from those that are supposed to love and care for you, then eventually things will change.

Energy is contagious. What you put out there, you get back in return. People have to work so hard to stay miserable.  It is harder to be miserable than it is to be happy.  Stand out and attract the right people who would love to be around you.  Your job is simply to be the best you can be.

One of the key secrets I have discovered is this – successful people use other successful people to motivate themselves.  They see other successful people as models to learn from.  Successful people are grateful that others have succeeded before them so that they now have a blueprint to follow that will make it easier to attain their own success.

Think about it – why reinvent the wheel?

I was asked to join Action Coach as a trainer and I noticed this little beauty – role models like Richard Branson and Brad Sugars know the fastest and easiest way to create wealth.  They mix and learn from the people who are masters of money and know how to play the game.  The secret is really simple – model the inner and out strategies of these successful people.  If you take the exact same actions and have the exact same mind-set, chances are you will get the exact same results.

The way I see it, there are over 6.3 billion people in the world and there is no way I am going to saddle myself with a person who drags me down and makes me miserable.

So…. going back to my first question….  would you hug and hold a person you knew had a severe case of the measles?

What will your answer be…..?

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